Home › Civil Law › Family Law › How can women be prevented from spending child-support payments on themselves instead of the child?
How can women be prevented from spending child-support payments on themselves instead of the child?
Women seem to view child-support payments from their ex as if it was pocket-money for her instead of spending it on the child.
Wouldn’t a program where the father paid the money to a government agency and then the government sent the mother vouchers things like food, towards utilities or school fees be better?
Then the bulk of the money would at least benefit the child.
The above list was examples, not meant to be exclusive. Of course it includes other necessities for the children such as clothing as well as rent if that is necessary.
I have not met anyone who spent ALL of the child support money on the child. Not saying that there are not any out there I am sure there are but they cant control what it is used for it is ment to be used for bills food clothes and such. My mom used the money however she felt but in the end had to pay out to get me clothes and such when I needed it just because she does not use the actual money right then on the child does not mean that in the end what she spends on the child evens out.
This would add to bureaucracy; generally, parents want to spend the money on their children.
I hate seeing women in the line at our local food store complaining they cannot afford milk, bread, and cereal for the week…………… yet they got name brand clothes, nails/ hair is done, boob job, Nike shoes, nice new car. It bugs me!
I had a co worker that spent her child support on a vacation to Hawaii, and the went on about how she cannot afford proper school stuff for her son. It makes me so mad to see this, and I think it needs to be monitored better.
what about the money she spends out of pocket for putting a roof over your childs head, buying food for your child to eat, and clothing for the child to wear, heat to keep the child warm, and so on and so on, the money that is sent is to help with those costs, and as long as all that is taken care of, and the child has everything they need, I dont see a problem with it. Look at it this way, she pays the bills with the money you send (buys cloths, food, ect) well then that just leave “her” money free, so it really dosnt matter on way or the other.
Now I’m not saying that the woman should be like this. and think that they can just spend it how ever. I’m just saying that if all the needs of a child are met and and she has extra money whats wrong with her getting a little something for her self? its a tough subject to argue. lol
(I work hard, long hours days and I am not recieveing anything from my ex husband in child support and I am doing just fine, and I am supporting myself, my boyfriend, and our 3 children(2 are mine, one is his)).
I think child support should be like checks, but they can only be used to buy food and other things for the kids. I know not all moms spend child support on themselves, but this would keep it from happening at all.
The money is absorbed into the mother’s budget, and if the child’s needs are being met, it is doing its job. Having a bigger budget leads to a more comfortable life for both mother and child.
The lady next door to me spent her child support check once on liposuction. She then went off about how she does not have money to buy her child the things she needed. It is so sad!!
If the child has little clothing and food,then your job is to get custody of the child. Otherwise, the mother can spend the payments whatever way she wants. That money goes to pay half the rent, utilities and other stuff.
I agree with you 100% , we all know that chld support is not spent on the children, to be honest your sugession is an excellent one , because that is really what child support is for.
Most women wouldn’t spend it on theirselves believe it or not. I resent the fact that you say “women” when what you mean is some”one” in general. Don’t title every single mom who works their ass off to take care of their kids like that. You’re pathetic. Most Mom’s do spend the money towards that. Word your question differently. How about a man staying true to his family in the first place then there’d be no need for support. It would simply be raising your child.
i recieve child support payments and not every penny goes directly to my son but it all does work to his benefit. for example i received a child support payment of 472 last week. i paid for child care 200.00 i got a case of pampers for 30.00 wipes 6.00 three spring outfits (i got three when i got paid also) 56.00 then i paid my electric bill that was 312.00. so some of it went directly to him and some of it went to the household. when i get 472 again next week with will all go towards my 1100 rent so it does go to him just not directly. i do agree on the vouch program but only if it is being misused or abused.
sorry it don,t work like that iam sure the child support you are paying is not paying all the bills.why should the money you give be sent in a voucher.most father send the check don,t worry about how she spends the money as long as the child is cared for.with her having the child its not easy believe me.i don,t know all the situation but most mother left with the children have a hard time a lot of the fathers don,t man up when his children are in need.but remember this food has to be gotten and clothes and keeping a roof over ther heads no matter what. the father thinks about her getting that child support and hes not in the home but think about this she, is caring for your children when they are sick and sad and when dad is not there they are making excuses why you,re not there most mothers deserve it to make sure that child is not hungry and well care for.
I truly doubt that getting the governement involved would actually solve anything! I’m not sure where you came up with the idea that “women seem to view child-support payments from their ex as if it was pocket-money” but, it still is within the mother’s right to take care of her child as she chooses to and spend that money as she chooses to. If the father has a reason to believe that the mother is not providing well for their child, and spending the money in inapporpriate ways — I’m sure he can go back to the court and have the child support arrangement changed. I think it is an incredible overgeneralization to say that women view child suuport as pocket money. I’m sure some do but, chances are that more spend more on their children than the amount allotted to them provides for.
As a child support reciepient myself, yes i recieve the money on a debit card and usually fill up my tank, buy something online, who knows. But in the long run i am the one that pays the rent, buys the food, buys the clothes, toys, school supplies. etc… My child lacks for nothing. I recieve $63 a week for my oldest son. Last week alone i spent $70 for music lessons. $35 on lacrosse sign up, $35 for soccer sign up, $5 for school movie night, $69 for fundraiser for school, not to mention dinner out, and dinners in, lunches. What about Electric, and all the housing expenses. What about the gas to run him everywhere. Hello, my child costs 5 times what i reciever from child support.
Before my fiance got full custody of his daughter, he was sending the baby’s mama $700 a month for support. In the end, the mother was over $2000 behind in daycare. Mother could go tanning, get her nails done, hair highlighted though. None of the money he sent her was spent on the child. I think that there should be some type of seperate account and when child support/visitation gets figured out…. the account set up also. As in X amount of money is designated for rent, X amount is set up for daycare… etc. If somebody moves or needs to make changes to that, then go through mediation or something to make them. Yes, that would involve a huge amount of money to set all this up, but in the end the CHILD would benefit… not the parent’s pleasures.
Dont you think the government is enough of our affairs? I get child support for my oldest daughter. I get 167.50 a month because he wont work and is a waste of a human being. I resent the fact they you think we dont spend it on the child. It sounds like you just peeved over something.
The way you asked your question tells me you are simply wondering how can this be stopped. It is apparent that you have witnessed this but you are not paying child support yourself.
Your choices of words in your question raises very important issues.
Way back then, I was an employer who had to deal with child support issues with one of my employee. I went to bat for him and had DSHS reduce the amount that would come out of his paycheck. Then he broke up with his girlfriend, had a new girlfriend who also became pregnant.
I saw him years later and he looked miserable. 2/3 of his minimum wage job was to pay for the child support of 2 different kids from 2 different girldfriends, who also had different children from different boyfriends or husbands.
I never gave birth to children instead I helped raised many. I knew back then that if I became pregnant, I was entirely responsible for the child I bear. I was too inexperienced with life to help support the life of a child on my own.
Child support is a reminder that humans have kids way too soon. Child support is evil to the provider and heaven to the receiver. Too many parent have abandoned their children to the other parent, now that parent has become the soul provider to the child. Can you imagine raising 5 kids on your own, your own paycheck, alone, struggling while the ovary or sperm donor is taning in Mexico.
Child Support only exist because too many men have told women they were stupid in math. Now we have the proof !
As an employer, I had to spend a lot of times processing child support paper work during payroll. On my own dime, the employee and the governement required me to withhold money from a paycheck and give this money to the government who in turn pay the parent benefiting the child support payment. As an employer, it costs me hours of my own time to process these forms.
What you wish for in your question would require a lot of paper work. Who will pay for this, the child ? the more we pay to push bureaucracy, the less the kids get.
Let her go tan in Mexico
if the child is in a happy environment, the child will benefit
if the child is in a suppressed environment, the child is corrupted for life
child support exist because of the single parents struggling
child support is only determined according to the money you make
the more money you make , the more you pay in child support
now instead of a trip to Hawaii, she is buying a house with the payments you are providing for child support
she drives a brand new car
while you wonder why
why is there a price to kids ?
It’s really difficult to separate the two – the child support needs to go for things like rent, utilities, food, gas money to drive the kid around, as well as all the kid-only needs. It is not supposed to be used for “extras” for the kid, just the basic living expenses. I think you could only claim the mother was spending the money on herself if it’s obvious that the child is going without something, and the mother is getting extras. In most cases, the mother will put the needs of her child before her own, and the ones who don’t probably shouldn’t have custody anyway.
Your program wouldn’t be better because ultimately you’d be paying a lot more in child support to pay to run that program. Think of the office staff, office space, printing and postage, arrangements for the vouchers, etc.
they can’t. and im with you, that’s exactly what they should be doing with the money. ive been saying that for awhile. my friend’s dad has been fighting to get the laws changed so that parents receiving child support for their kids have to prove that they spent it on the child.
i do not have a child, but i hope you will allow me to comment on this. i see it all the time. women spending the childcare / support check on everything under the sun. rent { OK, the child needs a place to stay } , groceries { OK, they have to eat }, gas…no..should spend their own money on that, clothes { yes, as long as it goes to that child only }, vacations { no, never ever..should be spent on a vacation..the child has another parent..he can take the child on a vacation }, and school functions { OK again, as long as it is for that child }. i see too many women spending the check meant for a child / children of a divorce / split on their OTHER children they have, and not on the intended ones !!!! i believe a father / mother that pays child support, should be able to get a receipt on every dime spent from the child support check, to make sure the child is getting what it needs !!!! i hope this makes sense to you. i see too many fathers getting a raw deal, and the children also !!! the money for them goes to other siblings… that is a bunch of crap if you ask me !!!
This question is rather offensive to women, so let me clear one thing up for you.
Mothers who are even remotely decent spend FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR more money on their children than they receive in “child support”.
If the father feels like the mother isn’t providing for the child, then he should get off his butt and fight for sole custody and deal with the kid himself, and then he won’t have to send any more money to the mother and he can pay for everything the child needs, and devote 100% of his time and energy and his life to the child like the mother had to, and I’m sure he’ll change his tune about women not deserving any extras.
Women don’t see child support payments as “pocket-money”.
Men like YOU see women as money-traps because they can’t keep it in their pants and then whine about having to pay child support out to their 12 “baby-mommas”.
See how it feels when someone stereotypes you?
You really need to THINK and put yourself in someone else’s shoes before you say/type things, because WOMEN do not just waste money on themselves and let their children go without, that’s little girls.
I’m sure there are stupid girls who waste the money on their nails and getting their weave or their hair bleaching or buying ugly shoes or whatever, but it’s a rare few, honestly, and they’re not really women, just immature girls. And if you feel a ‘woman’ is selfish and would be a horrible mother, why get her pregnant anyways? Keep it in your pants.
There never has been nor will there ever be any such thing as “child support” it is realistic for it to be called what it actually is, “Petitioner & court system support” Just ask any respondent in a divorce case. for all you self serving cry babies I highly suggest you hug your children, tell them you’re sorry, then put them on the phone to the other parent. If not you will die alone without the love of your children,because they do get older and wiser. I did!! and she died with only 1 child by her side. 76 years old and only 1 out of 6. So sad, I didn’t shed a tear cause I saw what she spent the money on, and i remember her so happy with her stuff,her nice clothes, her nice restaurants. I give her credit for one thing and one thing only. She never brought a stranger into the house to live with us. So she did good by not making us feel second best , at least in that way.